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Sunday, 27 January 2013

Week 3 Summary

Ok... so it's Sunday 27th January today. This week I have done totally rubbish!!

Im blaming it on redundancies, though I do know that nobody forced me to comfort eat.  So Tuesday, we found out there would be redundancies to be made on Thursday and I was fine with that.  But then Wednesday evening I talked myself (and my boyfriend) into having takeaway from the fish and chip shop just incase it was the last one we could afford for a while.

Luckily, I wasn't made redundant on Thursday, but 11 of my colleagues were so it was quite an emotional day and I slipped back into my old lunch routine of crisps and chocolate. :/ The dinner time the other half was out and I had takeaway again... this time chicken kebab, cheesy chis and southern fried chicken.  And it sort of continued from there really, with Friday being an evening of drunkenness where I consumed half a sloppy Joe pizza, a bottle of wine, 3 cadbury caramel bars and a creme egg.  Very naughty.  So much for being allowed a treat but not overdoing it.  I just passed it all off as a bad week and decided in my head it was okay and acceptable.  Well, today I have decided it is NOT acceptable. I shan't accept binge eating as a way to make things better because it doesn't.  I have very very lazy since eating all that and angry at myself for it.  The worst thing of all.  I don't even remember enjoying it? That's what makes this so confusing, and I'm sure others find the same.  Food is nice while your having it but then say an hour later, you don't even feel the joy of the tastes anymore and if you have over consumed then you put weight on and it feels like its for nothing.  But you can't break the cycle, you are used to the feeling of being full, anything else just feels unnatural.

So, I'm starting again tomorrow, week 4 aiming for the same loss as week 1.  I won't be giving up like all the times before.  I've undone 2 weeks worth of effort in the space of 2/3 days.  This isn't going to be easy but things that are worth having never are.  I'm hoping that I will love my new body even more because of the struggle to get there.

Onwards and downwards...

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